Sure, the anthropomorphic bull still shakes down the usual suspects: Marty Shuffle, Gilbert Jitterbug, and Gideon Rumspringa, to name a few. But let's face it—that's hardly headline material, is it? When was Bobby's last major coup? His last mighty dingdong? Can anyone recall? Hello? The silence is deafening. When did he last pull out all the stops and orchestrate a full-scale juicing operation against a genuine big shot? It's one thing for a wet-behind-the-ears rookie to scoop up small fry bung-fodder, but for a sheriff of Lockjaw's caliber? That's an entirely different kettle of fish. As the whispers grow louder and the sidelong glances more frequent, Bobby can't help but wonder: has he lost his edge, or is he just one big score away from silencing the doubters and reclaiming his former glory?

Now, the bribery solicitation business is a strange one, for in many instances, the APD still acts—or at least pretends to act—like any regular police force. Its officers can still be seen romping about the streets on the beat ('prospecting,' as they call it), still responding to calls ('chasing leads,' as it's known internally), still conducting investigations ('lead qualification,' to use their jargon), and still arresting and prosecuting suspects ('deal closing,' in departmental speak).

Once an officer has sifted through the evidence and thinks he’s got a goer on his hands, the suspect is given a choice: either settle up and take advantage of the early-bribe discount to make things swiftly disappear, or, refuse and roll the dice in the hopes the case might crumble under its own weight as it matures.

Should the walls begin to close in, the suspect finds themselves trapped in an even more precarious quandary: cough up a now astronomically inflated sum to buy their freedom (sweetened by the false generosity of conveniently flexible payment plans), or gamble on the courtroom acrobatics of a silver-tongued criminal attorney like the infamous Cactus Reus. Some hardened criminals, such as the heralded head-basher, Victor Wallop, have long made it a point of criminal pride to never, under any circumstances, pay off a crooked cop, which was all good and well, until the anthro bull received an anonymous tip-off that his professional rival, Lieutenant Larry Mooch was somehow...